So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
