you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
