Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
