I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Randomize
