at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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