Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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