Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
