i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
