But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
