idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
