I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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