let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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