You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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