how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
