considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
