You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
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I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
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Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
And then he peed in my hair
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