listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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