I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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