When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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