Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
