It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
