through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
