I wannas sexs uuuuu
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
