I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the day after is always just damage control
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
