So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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