i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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