if you like me you must not know who I am
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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