So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
