Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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