The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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