Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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