My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
