I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Come see our sink grown plant.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
