then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
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he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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