end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize