your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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