just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
