remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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