the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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