Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
