In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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