Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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