i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
