apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize