I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
