oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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