The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize