Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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