Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
