Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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