I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
