i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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