Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
