come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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