areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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