wakey wakey hands off snakey
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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