There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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